*edit* this was written a few weeks ago..i was waiting on a picture of the final product, but it still isn't finished so i will just post this and pray that it blesses you as it has me...      

        So, this past week i made myself a quilt for our bed...i've had the fabric for awhile now and just haven't felt motivated to getting it together..until i heard that my Grandma was going to have a quilting at her house and they needed another quilt...so i volunteered to make one =).
       i'm not totally new at sewing...my mother is a great teacher and i was sewing blocks together to make comforters for the church sewing by the time i was 8 years old...i also used to piece wallhangings for Lolly's...[a local quilt and fabric shop] that i just so happened to work at a few years ago... 
        The cutting and piecing went well, i got it done in one day...well, almost done...the strips weren't all the same length, and my mom thought it would be just as easy to cut the one side when it was done. So, i cut and pieced, leaving an uneven side to deal with another day. I took it home and put it on my bed to see how it fit and found a few flaws in the process!! That day came and i got down to work getting it cut off straight. Or, so i thought. Before i was finished cutting it all off, we discovered that the other side that we thought was straight wasn't so straight after all. Since it was just strips it had eventually not stayed square with the first strip... When we realized just how much we were going to have to cut off both sides to make the sides straight, it was quite a bit narrower than what i wanted. And i didn't want to piece a border to add to the sides.. So we started looking at what fabric i had left and discovered what i thought was enough fabric to just add a strip going all the way along both sides, matching the last strip at the bottom. So i cut my strips and sewed them on, only to discover that they weren't long enough to leave the bottom strip on...and by taking that off it wasn't going to be long enough..
       By this time i had had about all i could take...my day was going horrible and to add on top of that Ken wasn't going to be home for the night again. I felt like i had been snapping at the girls all day and finally i broke down...Why wasn't this quilt cooperating? [i know, i know, like it was its fault] Why couldn't Ken have a 9-5 job so he would be home on a regular basis and be able to spend time with us? How were we going to pay all our bills this month? I felt like i had the weight of the world on my shoulders...all brought on by a quilt that wasn't "cooperating". =/ And that's when i felt my Father draw me in his arms and re-assure me that i still had Him! He wasn't going anywhere! He would be with me that night when i had to go to bed by myself, again, He would help me with the girls and give me joy that would overflow. And then He gently pointed out how my life is like that quilt...and how when we try to piece it together by ourselves it doesn't work out right! He is/wants to be the Master Seamstress, even when we don't understand why or how, he knows how each piece fits. He knows the flaws that we find in those around us... or the things we think are flaws...the ones in our spouses, the ones in ourselves, that try as we might, we can't totally fix. We can cover up the embarrassing stuff, especially when we're around our friends and hope they dont notice, but underneath, they're still there. And just like that quilt that i had to cut more pieces for so that it would fit, He brings things into our lives that in the end make us beautiful. At the time we might not think so, especially because of the many seams holding everything together, but in the end we have a beautiful finished product...

       And as i watched the ladies gathered around quilting it together, i had to think of how we touch the lives of those around us...how much effort are we putting in?


       I'm crying as i write this because i cannot explain it as beautifully as the way He showed me that night...And a few nights later when i took a walk in the rain, tears running down my face as the rain fell...knowing i had to let go trying to piece my life together on my own and give the "sewing machine" over to God...to let Him finish what He's started. Letting go of my selfish desires of wanting Ken home more, and just being thankful that he has a job! Asking Him to give me the strength to face another day, trusting Him that He will provide for our needs, and learning more about becoming the help meet for Ken He had in mind when he created me...being the Mom He wants me to be, the friend i need to be, but most importantly becoming the Princess He desires me to be. Totally relying on Him, totally. Letting Him be my everything. Something i've been failing in. Being a trucker's wife forces me to be strong and mostly independent, so it's hard to let go, knowing i won't have any control over it. He desires to be my husband, my friend, my example, my daddy...because there are and will be times when i need to curl up in His lap and let Him hold me. 

Pray for me! I have a long ways to go...

Wow...its been a little while since i really updated!!

Where to start...


this pic was taken back on a saturday morning in May...she brought her shoes to me and wanted them on..even before she was dressed for the day. she "feeds" her baby like she's her mommy...i didn't even teach her. one day she started doing it and i did a double take. she must've watched Makayla do it or something!! she's so smart.


at Jon's graduation...o the goofy faces she makes....


congrats Jon!! proud of you!



Father's Day 2008

i am continuing my mom's tradition of taking pics every father's day...


Dad, Mom and Jon came over for lunch...


chillin' waiting on the steaks...

SUMMER!!


one day we had a "picnic" out on the front porch...the girls thought that was pretty awesome...


the last weekend in June Ken's family was camping at Manapogo Park...we hung out on sunday and took Kiki swimming for the 1st time!! the water was warm but the air was kinda chilly so we weren't in the water too long..


drying off and warming up...


it had rained quite a bit so the beach area was mostly just mud...

playin in the mud...


my sweetheart...


playin ball with daddy... she loved it!!!


i promised the girls we'd have a water fight on a HOT day...so we did!! they played in the sprinkler awhile too.



kiki didn't really like the cold water...






4th Of July...


Ken had a softball tournament in Topeka...they ended up being done by 1:00...they didn't play very well..=(


right now if you ask Kiana how old she is...this will probably be her response...=)




in the evening we were in a parade with our friends Marlin and Christy Stutzman...Marlin is running for Senate..


Logan drove his John Deere through...his trailer is loaded down with Tootsie Rolls...
After the parade we went back to Tobey and Erin's house and ate some leftover meat from our cookout at lunch and watched the fireworks from their house...

Quote from that evening..."You might be a redneck if....you cut down a tree and some brush so you can see the fireworks in town..."

yeah..we were rednecks that night... =) the cows even came over after we were done to see what was going on...it was hilarious!!

Painting...
last week my brother was gone on a youth mission trip in Ohio, so mom and i ripped off his wallpaper and painted his room for him...he picked out the color and let us do the rest....it turned out awesome!!!




we striped 2 walls like this and the other 2 just solid black...yes its black...and yes its awesome!!!




i want to post about what i've been doing for Kiana's room, but that will have to be another day!!

Kiana's in swimming lessons and she has another one tonight so i better go get ready!!
have a great rest of the day...

enjoying her first sucker...

watching her "big sis" Makayla...

Mayfest!! in Shipshe...

watching the parade...i took Makayla along in the morning...
Uncle Jon sat with us...


her favorites were the horses...she loves em!



Madilyn joined us after lunch...her mom dropped her off...getting faces painted except she decided she wanted it on her hand so "it wouldn't get in my hair"...too bad it washed off after she used the bathroom...after standing in line for like 30 minutes to get it done!!


she wanted a horse inside a heart...




Makayla on the other hand wanted it on her face...and it HAD to be a puppy!!





Bein goofy with part of her balloon...it turned into a hat after part of it popped...


2 Saturdays ago after MOPS at our church we had a Mother Daughter luncheon at our church...


Thank you Mom for the wonderful example you have been and continue to be to me...i hope i can be as good a mom as you are!!


My beautiful daughter and i...

This last Saturday was the first softball tournament of the year!!

Luckily Kiana had her friend Logan there to play with!!


We placed 3rd in our division!!

It was windy and a bit chilly on saturday and in between games we had hours of waiting...so during the one break we went lookin for garage sales in millersburg...(found a few but wasn't worth the drive) Kiana fell asleep on the way so when we got back i stayed in the truck and let her sleep...after she woke up she tried on my sunglasses....


so cute!!